India Journal - Feb 18, 2014 - This is India!

I felt tears coming to my eyes at the thought of departing from my loved one. We were only saying goodbye for three days but I have gotten used to being around him all the time. And I have been a bit nervous about him going to Pakistan without knowing much about how safe it is these days. The waiting line for the plane was almost all dark skinned men. The thought of tall and fair haired Shantidev walking among a land filled with these men entertained me a bit inside. On the contrary, I knew my line for India would be filled with Indian families and tourists from all over the world.

I watched him turn his back and walk away without looking back. I followed along as he started to descend on the escalator. Once I could not see him anymore, I turned the corner. To encourage myself to be okay with this separation I thought, "I am free now." And then immediately I started to think of India, which I have desperately wanted to visit for a year now. Immediately I felt what seemed like the grace of God lifting my energy to the point between my eyebrows. 

Upon arriving in Rishikesh I quickly found the sign "Mrs. Avital." I wanted to cry again out of such great happiness for someone extending such a courtesy to me. My greeter is one of the trek leaders for my hotel. The recent floods in Rishikesh completely swept away the big Shiva statue. I suggested maybe a new legend needs to be told as to why that would happen. He talked about washing away the old when such big transitions happen. Now the earth needed to wash away the old karma. Right away in India and I felt a sense of how the people live in harmony with the land and the nature of life.

At the hotel I met the couple who run the place. The wife came and sat with me for a moment while I had tea. She explained how they were putting a bed in the middle of the yoga room for a massage for this American lady. She continued, "We could not find a way to make her warm. It was cold in the massage room and cold in her bedroom, but somehow it was fine in the yoga room. We just give each room a specific name but it does not matter what happens in them. All these conditions are all in the head; cold, warm..." 

After settling in I took to the streets. First to Shivananda Ashram. How horrible! I forgot about taking my shoes off. Somehow I made it all the way up to Shivananda's tomb, put my forehead to the ground and starting to tune into the energy before I got yelled at. As I walked back in from putting my shoes outside I was glad I noticed one side of the wall said "Ladies," and sat on that side near the front. Somehow that still felt like another faux pas. A male Swami gestured to me to move a couple feet away and then he placed his stool where I was sitting. Next I thought if I closed my eyes and started my kriyas nobody would ask me to move again because I would be lost in meditation. Yet my throat was dry from the mix of recovering from a cold, traveling, and the air in India. I felt a tickle as I was doing my kriyas. I let out a cough. Then I heard a surround sound chanting of Aum by three Swamis. I realized they were beginning a series of prayers. My cough got worse and was uncontrollable. I left the temple for fear of disturbing them. My cough was so powerful my eyes teared. I was sitting on the steps outside the temple coughing and tearing with the Indians outside probably wondering why I was crying. Little did they know this was already the third time my eyes teared on the trip.

Later I went to dinner at a restaurant right on the river that I have longed to return to. I have remembered the peacefulness and expansiveness I have felt there and was hoping to recreate that moment. The site of the river with this one tree's branch leaning over it gave me relief upon arriving. I was also met with feet right in the middle of the room with the most disgusting things growing on it ever. I heard the guy attached to the feet preach his theories about life and global politics to his female companion under his foreign accent. His theories were good and I wondered how long he had been sharing them. He was laying there on the ground while talking non-stop. For some reason I wondered if he was all talk or if there was something he was doing to take action.

Luckily the food was as delicious as I remembered; that is, if I kept from looking at or thinking about the feet. And I did find peace and my body slowly decompressing from all the recent busyness of life.

Somehow the energy of my first day in India culminated to my deepest moment being meditating in my room that night.

I had intended to get up early today to meditate at the Kriya Yoga Ashram. With the dark, cold, and loud winds howling there was no chance of that. Then I was waiting to do yoga at 8am in the yoga hall next door to my room. In the meantime only one light worked in the room as opposed to the night before. For a while I wondered how that could be and then I remembered "this is India." I also wondered what I needed to do to get hot water and if there was a way to heat my room.

I found the female owner and asked her about all of that.  I explained my disappointment in myself for not getting out of bed early in the morning for meditation because it was cold and I needed more sleep after traveling. She advised, "Meditation does not need to be forced. It will still be there." About the lights she explained, "This is India. Sometimes the power goes out in this region." About the yoga, she explained I need to confirm it the night before. And about the heater, she was surprised not to find one in my room and said she would bring one.

After getting some time to meditate they served me a delicious ten course breakfast in the rooftop room with large windows overlooking the river, green mountain, and morning sun rising.

They turn the internet off for the night so I did not get a chance to check in with Shantidev in the evening. I had also told another friend I would see him meditating at the Kriya Yoga Ashram in the morning or I would call. Thus after breakfast I thought the internet would be on and it would be good to check in on it briefly. I was not able to connect. I went downtairs again to see if there were any solutions and was told it is not working this morning. Try again later. This is India!

Right now I am sitting with my feet up enjoying the view and getting an opportunity to do what I have longed to do, write on the Ganges.